Keeping Quiet

  We all have questions. Everyone has questions, however, not everyone always searches for answers. It was not until my freshman year of high school that I learned the consequences of asking questions. For years I sat back quietly, as did everyone else I knew and allowed information to be shoveled into my brain. Information, not knowledge. As I was sitting in my ninth grade trigonometry class, I began to feel frustrated. For some unknown reason, I could not help but feel that my teacher was, in some way, degrading me. Up until this point, all I had ever done in math class was memorize. I memorized formula after formula, equation after equation. I knew all the correct steps to solve a math problem and which formula to use, but I was not completely clear on why I was supposed to use these specific formulas. So, either out of spite or sheer boredom, I raised my hand. I was called on. I asked one question. Why do we have to use this formula and why do I have to go about this way or that to solve this problem and why do we have to only answer this part of this problem.
  My teacher did not answer right away. She simply stared at the board as if awaiting for its reply. Then she turned around and said in the most matter-of-fact sort of way, "That's just the way it is."
Wow. I was shocked at the blandness of this answer, and I was, of course, dissatisfied. I then began to think of my christianity.  I had always gone to church because I raised that way (even though I can distinctly remember a period in my life that my dad had to drag me by my hair). I had believed the stories I was told, and obeyed the rules and guidelines that had been set before me. I believed all these things because that was what I had been told and that's "just the way it is."
  As I got older, I became more and more discontented with just accepting what was told to me. I wanted to know more in depth explanations for why I had to abide by so many rules. I dove head first into this challenge during my senior year of high school and I took a "go big or go home" approach to the whole thing. I have since discovered a vast abundance of questions, answers, more questions, and disturbances that I never knew existed. I had a few conversations with very few people about some of the questions I had cooked up and ascertained that asking too many questions was not always a good thing. So I made myself a promise. A promise to continue on my journey through my faith and study all I can and ask as many questions as I can for as long as my God will allow. However, I will do so quietly, so as not to disturb the balance that a few bigoted and self righteous people maintain. They sprinkle this world and hide behind what others have placed into their minds claiming it as their own opinion.. after all, "that's just the way it is."